Transitions

Today is the first day of the 3 day "Basic" seminar. It is official. I am moving from paperwork and administration to Pilates. I feel nervous- I'm even shaking a bit (although that may be the 2 cups of coffee).

The nerves are not about the class. It's about the sudden real-ness of this change. I've been training and preparing for almost 8 months now, so it has always seemed pretty far away. Now it is here! The nerves are definitely mixed with excitement- I've been wanting to do this, and now I have the chance. Valerie has a quote from Jack London on her blog (The Road Lots Travelled), about the point of life is not to exist, but to live. I think I am making steps in that direction. Side note- if you have not read Val's blog yet, do it! She is friggin' hilarious, and has had some pretty cool adventures!

In the TV show "LOST", when people travel through time, they have to have a "constant", a person that grounds them in both the past and the future. I think it is the same for transitions. Having some connection to your old world and your new at the same time makes it smoother and easier. I am blessed enough to have many constants: Chris (who loved me as an insurance administrator, and has been my biggest cheerleader for this change), my apartment (didn't have to pick up and move to make this happen), even my job situation, as my boss has agreed to have me work on some projects at an hourly rate.

So I don't feel totally at sea in my new life. I'm in a lifeboat, with lines to solid ships. I feel like I could let go of some of the lines, or I can ride with them all. Right now it is a nice place to be. We will have to see if that remains, or if one of the lines starts to tug a little harder than the others.

So, why do transitions, even ones you are excited about, cause fear and nervousness? It seems a shame to let your happiness get overrun, even just occasionally, by fear of the unknown. Isn't the unknown what makes life worth the living, not just the existing? If we knew it all ahead of time, it would a pretty boring way to live. You may not have the fear, but you also would not have the excitement, anticipation or surprise. So, maybe fear, rather than prescience, is a good trade.